My Boyfriend Is Grieving and Pushing Me Away, When we have an attached person and a person we love has lost someone or something, it becomes even more puzzling. Grieving has its effects on a person in a different way, and in some cases, other people are avoided as they try to fill the pain inside themselves. This is not easy to understand, and this is what it means if your boyfriend is grieving and at the same time is pushing you away you are likely to My Boyfriend Is Grieving and Pushing Me Awaybe confused, hurt or feel like you can’t do anything. In this article, we will look at why this occurs and how you can help him and help yourself at such difficult times.
Understanding Grief and Why He’s Pushing You Away
Grief is not something that can be described easily. It is not simply feeling sorrow but comprises feeling a wide range of other emotions such as rage, bewilderment, remorse, and sometimes even numbness. Sometimes when undergoing grief a person may find it difficult to talk or even keep company. Your boyfriend may be avoiding you as he is interested in withdrawing due to his pain without knowing it.
- Emotional Overload: Grieving tends to make people feel a lot of stress. Your boyfriend may be trying to push you away because he feels like his heart is so full and he cannot fit in anymore.
- Need for Space: Some individuals tend to take a stage from a crowd so as to arrange themselves internally. It does not mean he does not love you but he could want a moment to recollect himself considering his sorrow.
Example: Your boyfriend may not want to engage in conversation or activities that they previously enjoyed more often than before. This tends to be difficult for you, however, it is crucial to note that his grief hampers his capabilities to socialize as he would under other circumstances.
What You Can Do to Support Him
Though it is difficult to watch someone in pain that you love; there are ways in which you could be of help to your grieving boyfriend without very much stressing him. Below are some very useful recommendations:
1. Give Him Room, but Don’t Disappear
There are times when a man will ask for a respite in a relationship, which is understandable, but that does not mean that he has to completely shun you or even more cut you off from his life. Finding the appropriate way to let him know you care and at the same time giving him space is crucial.
- Check-In Gently: This can be achieved by sending simple texts or making brief calls at intervals to let them know one is concerned. One can say, “You can talk to me when you feel like it,” or “I know I’m not going anywhere but take your time.”
- Be Available: Even non-responsive people appreciate that someone is there waiting, and often this is enough for the person to draw comfort.
Tip: Do not insist that he speaks to you or goes out with you. Allow him to choose when it is appropriate to meet again.
2. Help Build Coping Skills
Guilt and sadness can be paralyzing and make it difficult for them even to perform basic daily living activities. There are many reasons why one might want to support a boyfriend in small acts of service rather than pushing him to express his feelings.
- Help with Errands: You can volunteer to assist in things such as food runs, organized house cleaning, or even preparing a meal.
- Provide a Distraction: At times, avoiding sadness can lead to a more profound sense of grief. Suggest doing something that involves very little from him such as watching a movie together or even going for a short walk.
Example: You can add on, “I do understand that you are busy and that is why I have done your cooking for you,” or “If it is not too much trouble, please inform me if there is anything I can do.”
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3. Have Patience and Compassion
There is no time frame for grieving. His emotions may take several weeks, several months, or even longer for your boyfriend to work out. At this point, it is reasonable to say that you have to exercise restraint with him and should not take offense to his actions.
- Patiently Adjust to Behavioral Changes: Your boyfriend may not be himself, very likely. He is likely to be aloof, annoyed, or quiet. Just don’t beat yourself up over it – he’s going through something.
- Do Not Work Towards Resolving Problems: Sometimes, there is no way to make grief go away in an instant. Rather than making attempts to ‘cure’ the sadness, just wait until he speaks.
Example: If he appears dispassionate, aloof, or even indifferent, bear in mind that this too is a component of grief and in no way indicative of how he regards you.
4. Urge Him To Get Help From a Professional
There’s a limit to the extent one can support a boyfriend and what he has to face – at times, the weight of grief can be too much. If you feel that he has not been able to cope well or carry on with his life because of grief, kindly suggest to him to ask for help.
- Acknowledge Counseling or Therapy As An Option: A counselor will help him find a way to cope with grief without affecting learned behavior. You might want to say, ‘Nothing is wrong with it, and seeing a specialist could be less challenging for you.’
- Check on Availability Of Grief Support These: It so happens the processes can be comforting through other people who are undergoing similar situations. Recommend one on the ground or even virtually if he is receptive to it.
Tip: Don’t make it sound like there is something ‘wrong’ with him. It is best to view a movement like this as a better way of healing.
Prioritising your well-being
As you are providing solace to your boyfriend remember to also take some time for your own comfort. Grief is often hard latched onto the victim so much that even the relatives or close friends suffer emotionally.
1. Understand Where to Draw the Line
In as much as one would love a boyfriend to be better, there are some things that have to be realized those limits to avoid oneself getting bored out. Do not feel guilty to withdraw when it gets too much.
- Recognize the Threshold: It is not wrong to explain that “I will stand by you, but I need to draw a line somewhere”.
- Schedule Respite Time: It is advisable to take time off every so often, and pursue things that refresh you mentally.
Example: Make plans with your friends or pick up other activities that you love so as not to get exhausted by the situation.
2. Don’t Forget to Support Yourself
Most often than not there is also one with this other person, and there is a need to look after oneself as well. Pay attention, to do not be ashamed and to ask for help even for oneself in such situations.
- Let Out Your Emotions to Friends or Family Members: There is benefit in confiding in a trusted confidant. Quite often relief comes just from discussion.
- Visit a Therapist: When your boyfriend’s trauma brings you to a tipping point, you should eat healthy food and consult a psychologist.
3. Don’t Take Rejection Personally
If a boyfriend continues to choose distance or is simply pushing away his girlfriend, it is advisable that she does not take the issue personally. Grief makes people do and say things which, ordinarily, they would not even think of doing. He perhaps is sick and needs time away from everyone and everything. It does not mean that he loves you any lesser than before.
- Give Him Time: This is a phase and it will pass I give him time, maybe he is just not ready to face anyone after this.
- Stay Positive: It helps to remember that what you see is what he shows in terms of relationships and it is part of his behavior in the course of the grief, not in relation to you.
Being There Through Grief
Your boyfriend can be in control, perhaps more than he can bear, which is rather painful and aggravating. However, in due time, patience, understanding and support will allow you to help him navigate through the rough patch. Understand that timing and space are part of the healing process and while he appears withdrawn and distant now, one’s kindness and presence will have significance in the future. As equally important, do not forget to look after yourself during this period so that the two of you can receive the necessary help in the process of healing.
The two of you will emerge from this experience far better than before, provided you take care of your boyfriend as well as your emotions.