Can you get a Prenuptial after Marriage: Spoiler: Yes, But It’s Messy Can’t get a prenup after marriage? Learn how postnups work, when to get one, and how to avoid turning your kitchen table into a courtroom.
The Time My Cousin Tried to “Fix” His Marriage with a Postnup
My cousin Kyle married his high school sweetheart, Jenna, in a backyard ceremony with dollar-store decorations and a BBQ buffet. Five years later, they were drowning in debt, therapy bills, and resentment. During a particularly tense game of Monopoly (where Jenna threatened to flip the board), Kyle blurted, “What if we get a prenup?!” Jenna threw a hotel piece at him. Turns out, they were five years too late for a prenup—but not for a postnup. Here’s the messy, unsexy truth about getting a legal agreement after saying “I do.”
Wait—What’s the Difference Between a Prenup and Postnup?
Let’s break it down like a rom-com gone wrong:
- Prenup: Signed before marriage. “If we divorce, you get the dog, I get the PlayStation.”
- Postnup: Signed after marriage. “Since we’re already fighting over the dog and the PlayStation, let’s write this down.”
Both are legal contracts outlining who gets what in a split. But postnups are like trying to install a smoke alarm after the kitchen’s on fire. Possible? Yes. Awkward? Absolutely.
Why Would Anyone Want a Postnup? (Spoiler: It’s Not Just for Rich People)
Postnups aren’t just for Elon Musk-types. Real-life reasons include:
- Debt Bombs: “You racked up $50K in credit card debt? Cool, but that’s yours alone.”
- Inheritance Drama: “My grandma left me her house. Let’s keep it out of our marital junk.”
- Business Blues: “I started a company after we married. Let’s protect it from divorce lawyers.”
- Last-Ditch Therapy: Some couples use postnups to save a shaky marriage by “resetting” financial trust.
My Friend’s Story: After her husband’s crypto obsession drained their savings, she demanded a postnup. He agreed—but only if she stopped calling Bitcoin “fake internet money.”
How to Get a Postnup Without Starting WWIII
Postnups require both spouses to agree. Here’s how not to blow up your marriage while negotiating:
- Timing Is Everything: Don’t bring it up during a fight about laundry. Wait for a calm moment (or after wine).
- Frame It as a “Plan,” Not a “Divorce Map”: Say, “Let’s make sure we’re both protected, no matter what.”
- Get Separate Lawyers: One lawyer can’t rep both of you. Yes, it’s pricey. No, you can’t use LegalZoom and pray.
Pro Tip: Throw in a carrot. “If we sign this, let’s book that vacation we’ve been fighting about.”
The 4 Rules for a Bulletproof Postnup
Not all postnups hold up in court. Follow these rules:
- Full Honesty: Disclose all assets/debts. Hiding your vintage Pokémon card collection? Congrats, the judge will hate you.
- No Coercion: Signing under duress (“Sign this or I’ll take the kids!”) = void.
- Fairness: It can’t leave one spouse destitute. “You get the cat, I get everything else” won’t fly.
- Update It: Revisit every few years. That crypto clause? Worthless if he’s now into NFTs.
When Postnups Go Nuclear
Sometimes, postnups backfire spectacularly:
- The Revenge Postnup: “Cheat on me? You lose the house.” (Courts hate punitive terms.)
- The “Oops, I Forgot” Disaster: Hiding a secret bank account? The whole contract could crumble.
- The DIY Disaster: Using a template from Etsy? Have fun in court.
My Aunt’s Horror Story: She drafted a postnup herself to “save money.” The judge tossed it for being “written like a ransom note.”
Alternatives to Postnups (For the Faint of Heart)
If a postnup feels too combative, try:
- Financial Counseling: A neutral third party helps budget/spar.
- Asset Titling: Keep certain properties in one name.
- Trusts: Shield inheritances or family assets.
FAQs (From Someone Who Googled at 2 a.m.)
- “Is a postnup legally binding?” Yes—if done right. No—if you wing it.
- “Can it address custody?” Nope. Courts decide custody based on the kid’s best interests.
- “Will it ruin our marriage?” If your marriage dies over a postnup, it was already on life support.
Final Take: Love Is Messy. So Are Postnups.
Can you get a prenup after marriage? Technically, no—but a postnup is the next best thing. It’s not sexy. It’s not fun. But neither is arguing over who gets the Air Fryer in divorce court. Protect your sanity, your assets, and maybe your marriage. Just don’t sign anything during Monopoly night.